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Crackberry Acquired

All I ever wanted out of life was to SSH to my computer from a cell phone. That dream has finally come true.

Up to this point I have not owned a cell phone. I bought one a few years back, then I returned it and got a refund because it was pointless. Communicating with other human beings via spoken voice? How trite. My current employer gave me a phone for free but I never used it.

But nowadays cell phones are pretty much mini computers that happen to be able to make phone calls as a side effect. I almost got an iPhone, but I am very wary about hype. Apple's business practices turn me off; the app store is a shystering waiting to happen, their crappy proprietariness makes me puke, their overblown marketing and "image" makes me puke even more. I don't want an MP3 player in my phone; my Cowon D2 is far superior to any silly iPod. And as I tried the touch screen keyboard, I quickly realized that the Blackberry's physical keys win in that category by a mile.

So I got a Blackberry Bold and I'm pretty happy with it so far. I have yet to make a single phone call, but I've put it to good use. I installed all kinds of silly stuff on there, including an SSH client so I can do system maintenance while driving. (Not really, don't worry.) I can look at Google maps when I get lost, which happens embarrassingly often in my car. I can look at Slashdot from the sushi restaurant. I can get the weather updated every 15 minutes, which saves me from rotating my head 25 degrees and looking out the window.

I still object to certain cell phone things on principle. Paying $3 for a 15-second song clip as a ring tone for example; the insanity of this is almost physically painful to me. The Blackberry let me set any old MP3 I wanted as the ring tone though, which is nice.

Paying for text messages is almost as painful. How can it cost a quarter to send 160 bytes of text to another phone, when the whole freaking internet costs orders of magnitude less? How do cell phone companies get away with this? It's such a racket. But I can put IM clients on my phone and use email and I have "unlimited" data transfer each month, so that's nice. (And I really grilled the salesperson about what "unlimited" means. She said some people go into the gigabytes of transfer each month without consequence, so it looks like I need to find a torrent client now!)

Maybe one of these days I'll call someone. What a novel concept.

May 07, 2009 @ 11:26 AM PDT
Cateogory: Hardware


Quoth numerodix on May 07, 2009 @ 8:11 PM PDT

Phone culture is mad indeed. From the beginning it was the biggest scam and people just accept it.

Ringtones are probably the silliest idea of all. As Chris Rock said "the phone used to ring for free.."

Jeremy Olexa
Quoth Jeremy Olexa on May 08, 2009 @ 12:09 AM PDT

Ha, nice post. I laughed alittle.

Say, I use to think that the term "Crackberry" meant that it was rooted or something. Is it just slang for the normal term Blackberry?

Quoth Brian on May 08, 2009 @ 3:18 AM PDT

Crackberry refers to it being addictive like crack.

Jeremy Olexa
Quoth Jeremy Olexa on May 11, 2009 @ 11:02 AM PDT

ahha, thx

Quoth Bala on June 27, 2009 @ 2:29 AM PDT

After I read this post, I searched for cowon and ended up buying the Cowon A3. Thanks for introducing me to a new filed of mp3 video players that I was not aware of. (Just to keep your statistics clear, I subscribed to this blog mainly for the lisp/clojure related articles, but now I read all the articles you post :) ).

Quoth Brian on June 29, 2009 @ 3:53 AM PDT

I was considering the A3 too, it looks pretty impressive. I'd have gotten that if I cared more about video. Thanks for reading!